Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I'm not a Bitch


I have two brothers, one I like that lives in Amsterdam and one I don't like that lives in Texas, too close to me and not nearly far enough away. We have a mother, the three of us, that has dementia. I write about it - probably mentioned that before - and you can read the mess here.

I used to be close to my mom. Now, it's just like I'm going through the motions by calling her and visiting her on the weekends when I'm in town. It wasn't until I got the full picture of how she was letting her oldest son take complete advantage of her and then not stopping him from bullying me as an adult when I was living in her duplex on the opposite side of them that our relationship took a very sour turn.

I don't want to put all my business out here in this post. You can probably find it if you search farther back when I cared more than I do now. I've just learned that standing up for what you believe and feel AND being a woman is almost always taken as you being a bitch. It's a stigma that women face. If a man does it, he's either considered in control or controlling, depending on how he handles it. Women, it's always being a bitch.

I am in no way a feminist and have all these opinions about women's rights. I do, however, have an opinion that I've come to learn is worth listening to or at least hearing me out and contemplating. I don't need you to agree with me, just know that, like assholes, everyone has an opinion and I want mine to be heard sometimes. I've stood up for a few things in my life, like being able to make the choice to have my three younger children at home VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) and divorcing my emotionally and mentally abusive exhusband after I realized he wasn't ever going to change.

Don't tell me I have to be nice and keep the peace in the family until my mother is gone because my brother has a mental illness. I can just as easily ignore him and never talk to him again and be much more happy, which is what I've chosen to do. As a human being, I have the right not to take abuse in any form, no matter who it's from or what it's about. Whether we have the same blood running through our vaines or not, I do not have to like you and be nice to you if I don't get the same respect in return.

I will only surround myself with those people who love me unconditionally and support me whether they agree with me or not (yes, that's two differnt things). The rest of you can go away and think about what you've lost. Thank you Blogger for the opportunity to rant.
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