Friday, August 30, 2013

Where did the Summer go?

Apparently there has been a LOT going on around here. I was thinking about putting something on Pinterest but I had to first figure out how to do that which lead to me logging in here only to realize I hadn't blogged since MAY! How the heck did that happen? It's now Labor Day weekend. Looks like I'll be catching up this weekend....maybe.

I'll start with now and work my way backwards with what all happened this summer. So last weekend, my beautiful daughter and her boyfriend came for a visit. 

How cute are they? Rosie the Riveter and Fabio!
She's going to UNT in the Interior Design program and I thought I should put her to good any good mother would do. I had recently given my dad back all the antique furniture - bed, dresser and wash stand - that I had gotten from him when I was married. I actually had this bedroom suite when I was in high school and college but didn't take it when I got married. Anyway, it left my room with much more room and wall space above my bed. I have a plan for a headboard I'm going to make with a pair of stain-glass shutters (you can see them in the picture below) but that won't happen until I move. For now, I needed to put something up there because I cannot do a blank wall. I get nervous.

We (as in Rex because he's like 7 feet tall) started with straight pens. Four down the left side spaced apart just eyeballing it. Then we (Alyssa because she's the crafty one) took the thin twine (looping the end) started on the second to the top pin, up around the top pin and across to eyeball where the top pin on the right side should go. We continued this down and back and forth, wrapping the twine a couple of times around each pin for security and then tide it off at the bottom left.

I had clothes pins from a previous craft and my Kanvess prints, which I absolutely LOVE, and we just started hanging the pictures. We ran out and had to get more so they are two different types but you can't really tell and who cares? Not me! I had this idea in my head because of a couple of things I'd seen on Pinterest. I am SO happy with how it turned out. The best part is, I can move the pictures around (which I won't because I hardly ever do that) or I can change out the pictures (which I might do but that just depends).

Pin It!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Fun Fact Tuesday

I didn't come up with this on my own - obviously - but I wanted to have it on my blog so I could find it later. Pinterest is great but I know how to get here better.
Wow, Some interesting stuff here!

1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any.
6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
11 Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12. Chigger bite - Preparation H
13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15. Stinky feet - Jello
16. Athletes feet - cornstarch
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff)
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it!
20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper
21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar !
26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia , soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets , soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36.. Dirty grout - Listerine
37. Stains on clothes - Colgate toothpaste
38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola , it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox , or 2 Bayer aspirin , or just use 7-up instead of water.
42. Gatorade is good for Migraine Headaches (PowerAde won't work)
43. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you 'squeeze' for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie.
They are:

Monday = Blue,
Tuesday = Green,
Thursday = Red
Friday = White
Saturday = Yellow.

So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

Pass this information on to friends so they can be informed.
Pin It!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I'm not a Bitch

I have two brothers, one I like that lives in Amsterdam and one I don't like that lives in Texas, too close to me and not nearly far enough away. We have a mother, the three of us, that has dementia. I write about it - probably mentioned that before - and you can read the mess here.

I used to be close to my mom. Now, it's just like I'm going through the motions by calling her and visiting her on the weekends when I'm in town. It wasn't until I got the full picture of how she was letting her oldest son take complete advantage of her and then not stopping him from bullying me as an adult when I was living in her duplex on the opposite side of them that our relationship took a very sour turn.

I don't want to put all my business out here in this post. You can probably find it if you search farther back when I cared more than I do now. I've just learned that standing up for what you believe and feel AND being a woman is almost always taken as you being a bitch. It's a stigma that women face. If a man does it, he's either considered in control or controlling, depending on how he handles it. Women, it's always being a bitch.

I am in no way a feminist and have all these opinions about women's rights. I do, however, have an opinion that I've come to learn is worth listening to or at least hearing me out and contemplating. I don't need you to agree with me, just know that, like assholes, everyone has an opinion and I want mine to be heard sometimes. I've stood up for a few things in my life, like being able to make the choice to have my three younger children at home VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) and divorcing my emotionally and mentally abusive exhusband after I realized he wasn't ever going to change.

Don't tell me I have to be nice and keep the peace in the family until my mother is gone because my brother has a mental illness. I can just as easily ignore him and never talk to him again and be much more happy, which is what I've chosen to do. As a human being, I have the right not to take abuse in any form, no matter who it's from or what it's about. Whether we have the same blood running through our vaines or not, I do not have to like you and be nice to you if I don't get the same respect in return.

I will only surround myself with those people who love me unconditionally and support me whether they agree with me or not (yes, that's two differnt things). The rest of you can go away and think about what you've lost. Thank you Blogger for the opportunity to rant.
Pin It!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

In This Age of Technology

I absolutely LOVE this boy!!
This past weekend we spent the weekend at the JW Marriott San Antonio Hill Country Resort & Spa. It was for a Verizon Winners Circle event honoring all the top sellers for 2012. Beautiful resort and a wonderful get away. Friday night there was a welcome event on the back lawn. This is us. Me and my new boots, a dress and my handsome cowboy.
Friday night all fancy in my boots!
 Saturday, we had a scheduled event in Gruene, TX for antiquing and then wine tasting at the Dry Comal Creek Winery. It was an absolutely beautiful weekend and perfect for walking around a quaint little town in Texas. As you can see by the pictures above, Allan wasn't completely sure about the whole wine tasting. However, when we were leaving, he had a glass of wine in his hand. He did find one he liked.
Wine tasting at Old Colver Creek
   Saturday night was Casino and Awards night. I have been to many corporate events with Hilton and I've had some great times. I will admit, I loved the whole casino theme and I don't even gamble. There was food and drink and free poker chips to play Black Jack, Texas Hold 'Em and tokens to play the slots. The whole weekend was much appreciated and lot of fun.
Saturday night dinner and fun!
As I think back on past relationships and my current one, it's come to my attention that people tend to spend more time texting sentiments to each other and talking on the phone about life stuff and not as much time as they should talking face to face about deep feelings. We are all recovering from some rough relationships - or most of us I would guess. I mean, how vulnerable do we really want to be with each other? How do you really grown to trust each other? There are things we can all work on in relationships, right? I heard the below list on the radio this morning and I have to say, we have a VERY good start to our relationship.

1. Share responsibilities: Four out of five happy couples share decision-making . . . two out of three share financial decisions . . . and two in three split chores evenly.

2. Have lots of sex: Three out of five couples said they have sex at least twice a week . . . one in three have it at least four times a week . . . and 16% of couples do it EVERY DAY.

3. Be affectionate when you're NOT having sex: 69% of happy couples kiss each other and show affection several times a day.

4. Be honest: 70% are always honest with each other . . . and don't even tell little white lies.

5. Stay in shape: Three in four couples say it's important to be in shape . . . and 18% say their partner's physical appearance is the thing they're most attracted to.

6. Don't talk about politics: 37% of happy couples say they NEVER talk about politics . . . and another 47% rarely talk about it.

7. Be the same religion: 71% of happy couples have the same religious beliefs.

8. Communicate: 72% have in-depth conversations about work . . . life . . . and family on a regular basis.
Pin It!

Monday, April 15, 2013

This is the world we live in.

I worked from home today because the power went out at my office building about 30 minutes before I got there. I work on the 6th floor so I waited in the lobby for direction because I didn't want to walk up six flights of stairs to be told to go home and have to walk back down - in heels. It was already getting hot according to a coworker I saw on my way in. She had been up there and was headed home. So home I went and sat and watched TV and worked on my laptop.

The first "Breaking News" story was about a high speed chase in Dallas. Apparently this guy shot a killed a pregnant woman. She and the baby died at the hospital. I sat in shock as this car weaved in and out of traffic, just praying they didn't hit anyone....and they didn't. They as in there were two people in the car. We found this out when the car ended up back in the same neighborhood it came out of and someone jumped out of the car and went one direction and the driver jumped out and ran into a house. The news quit reporting on it per the police request and I still don't know how that ended....because someone set off two bombs at the Boston Marathon.

Then I go to Facebook and it's just a constant flow of information about the explosions from pages I follow all the while I have the news on. I am drained and am hoping Dancing with the Stars comes on at 7:00. These are the days I hate Facebook and think about deleting my account for a while. If it's not the election, or gay rights and marriage equality, it's an atheist friend wanting to start an argument over God. Yes, I could hide him or I could just not go on Facebook but I don't have the discipline to stop. Sad, but true. I keep in touch with a lot of people through Facebook and I like to stalk - always wishing for that train wreck to happen today. I certainly wouldn't want to miss that!

I've been pretty good about staying out of arguments and if the rebuttals to the status updates gets too big, I will hide them from my news feed. It's social media. This is the world we live in. There are bad people, there always have been. They do bad things and it will most likely always turn into something political. We have a black president for the second term in a row. I see people saying that this is his chance to make things right. These are the SUPER right winged Texans I'm talking about. Of course they hate him just for the fact that he's black and democratic. And it makes me feel embarrassed for my birth state. It's the same with marriage equality and any other horrible act like the shootings in Connecticut. This is our world. I'm sorry it's like this but this is the world we live in. Have I said that yet? 

I'm not saying lay down and take it and of course you can voice your opinion, but know that it's just that - an opinion. There's a saying that goes, "Opinions are like buttholes....everyone has one." Don't expect us to all agree with you. If you're going to put it out there, take the criticism. My atheist friend is a good example of someone who can do that. He can debate like no one I've ever seen. I like that. But he also knows exactly where I stand and I don't debate so I won't argue with him. I just respect his opinion.

I do wish the world was a better place, but, as I remind myself often, Adam and Eve ate the apple (I won't point blame, lol) and therefore, we have evil in the world. It's just getting worse.

Let's all remember what Mr. Rogers' mother told him so many years ago. "You will always find people who are helping."
Pin It!

Doing Things Seperately....

The sign said not to climb but I'm a rule breaker. I didn't go that far up though!
When you're in a relationship, it's always good to have time apart doing things with your friends, right? Yes. It's just harder to do when you live 3 hours apart and don't see each other that much anyway. So, when Allan mentioned to me months ago that April 12th was race weekend, my heart kinda sunk a little. Not gonna lie. I looked at the calendar and realized that that was one of two weekends in April that my youngest would be going to his dad's and that he was going to be at NASCAR with his friends. Then I secretly prayed to God that he wouldn't ask me to tag along. It's not my thing. Not even one of those things I would do just because it would be spending time with him. Not on my bucket lists A, B or C. 

Instead, I called up my best friend, Missy, and said, "Hey, wanna go to Paris with me April 12th for the weekend and go antiquing?" To which she said, "He!! yeah!" So we planned it. I got us a room at the Hampton Inn Paris (don't be jealous!) and we were set. We were both in desperate need of some time away from our home lives. No dogs, no kids, no parents, no boys - not that we don't love our boys 'cause we do and we missed them bad, but you know.....

The week before we started looking for things to do in Paris, TX. It's a fun little town that I had been to many times, but not really spent a lot of time touring. We were lucky enough to be there the weekend of the April in Paris Wine Fest. Unfortunately, we didn't know about it until we were there and saw all the signs about it. However, we will be making plans to go next year and hopefully with the boys, who knows! It was a Friday night thing and we could participate in that we paid $1 for a taste of one of the wines. If you wanted a whole glass, it was $5 (still not bad!) but it wasn't in one of the fancy special wine glasses you got if you signed up ahead of time.

On to things to do in Paris, TX - you definitely have to go see the Texas Eiffel Tower. That's me with the tower at the top. It's just a cool thing to see. And next to it is the Red River Valley Veteran's Memorial. It's a very well put together memorial for those veteran's from Red River County. Then there is the Jesus wearing Cowboy Boots statue in the Evergreen Cemetery. This was interesting in that there is a headstone with Jesus carrying a cross and he's wearing boots. The story behind it sort of weirded me out since it's rumored that Mr. Babcock was really an atheist and this was sort of his jab at religion. Click on the name above to read more.

I agree with the article. I think he looks more like an angel. That's why we drove by twice before we realized this was the thing we were looking for.

A few other things we did around town was check out all the antique shops in the square, see the fountain, eat at a few good eating establishments (Jaxx's Burgers and Time Flies were two) and enjoy a beautiful evening. 

Paris at sunset (Texas, not France!)
Saturday, we took a trip down 82 into Clarksville, stopping at Alida's Antiques in Blossom along the way. She's a little bit priceier than places like The Cedar Chest in Paris, but she has a TON of stuff and will always make you a better deal than the price that's on there. The drive from Paris to Clarksville is about 35 miles, but if you love looking at antiques, it's well worth it! We went around the square in Clarksville and checked out all their antique stores, actually bought a dress (GASP) for this weekend at Vintaj Cowgirl on the square (I can't find a good website online so no link, sorry) found a few great things and then went on to visit Allan's mom. Oh! I also bought a pair of boots. Here is me in the dress and boots (I know. I need my girdle on. Get over it!)

So thre you have it. A good list of things to do while you're in Paris, TX. I hope it helped you because I had a hard time finding one good place that gave us good direction.
Pin It!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Be Happy and Thankful

I found this saying on Facebook the other day and it's really hit home this week. Work has gotten busy, which is great, I had counseling this week and I got to see the guy this past weekend. I have really been working on just getting to this place where I can live NOW and not in all the "what if's" I've taxed my brain with lately. It's a constant struggle to stop myself when I start going down the future trail. I am so on guard not to get hurt like I've let myself in the past that I have robbed myself of loving where I am right now.

When I get a text from you know who just telling me "Luv Ya Baby!" it totally melts my heart. Or the one that says "Missin'  you!" Wow. It just makes me smile so big. It's huge for a guy to reach out like that. HUGE! Instead of me wondering if he's going to bail on me one day, I need to (and am learning very quickly to) love where we are right now, appreciate every little aspect of our relationship and just love him and not waste any more time wondering.

I also finally watched the video to P!NK's new song "Just Give Me A Reason". I had heard the song many, many times and thought it was about a couple who had grown distant and was trying to make their relationship work. Then I really listened to the words and realized it's totally me with Allan. I'm her, freaking out thinking their amazing relationship won't last and he's there saying "Where did this all come from? We are fine! We are fine!" Here, take a watch and a listen......(here are the lyrics)

And this is the happy couple this past Easter weekend at the family wedding. It was a beautiful place in McKinney - Heard Science & Nature Center.

Pin It!

Monday, April 1, 2013

These Are the Things I Think About.......

Preparing for the future - i.e. that moment in my life when I don't have any children at home that are dependent on me and my income and the moment I don't get child support anymore and will be living strictly on my own ability to make money. Let's be honest, as a single mom who didn't work full time once baby no.2 was here and then went back to work full time once I was divorced, I wasn't exactly able to just jump right back into the workforce and get a fabulous job. I had to work my way up the "corporate ladder". And while I have a great job, some of my friends who've worked all their lives would cringe to make what I make. The child support was a huge help when I was first divorced. Now it just makes things comfortable and I like comfortable.

So, enough about my finances - on to grandchildren. Yes, grandchildren. It not that I want them now, but I do look forward to the day my children get married and have their own families - in that order please. For the first time ever, all my older children have a significant other and seem to be very happy and compatible. But here is where my brain goes (after I see how happy and compatible they are) "I could end up with some amazingly beautiful grandbabies!" My kids are beautiful to begin with (bias much?? YES!) and then to pair them with someone who has beautiful features and is attractive. BINGO! I may hit the jackpot. And typing that all out just made me sound completely judgemental on the not so attractive people. Sorry 'bout that. Wasn't intentional. This is how my brain works. I didn't say it was politically correct.

My middle son has been with his girlfriend for about a year and a half, my oldest son has finally found someone that seems to be a great fit and my daughter just got into a relationship. I am in NO way rushing them or encouraging them to get married. More importantly, I just want them to be with someone that makes them happy and right now, they seem to have found those people and it's a good thing. That's all I'm sayin'! I do expect to have my fair share of grandchildren one day though. I don't care if it's 10 years from now or what, just not like within the next year. A lot of my friends are alread grandparents and some have been for a while. Mine will just be prettier and more beautiful!

I was looking at pictures of my kids and their significant others but then thought twice about posting them on here. I was also thinking what brought on this topic for my blog today. I was at a family wedding this weekend. This was the brother of the couple that got married in November. That bride was 19 and pregnant. This one was 20 and not pregnant but still....20. Now I can't really talk too much because I was 21, almost 22. I've heard the average age of first marriages now is like 27, which will probably be my kids. I guess, even though I was married at 21 and had my first baby by the time I was 23, three kids by the time I was 27, I am still amazed at how young people are getting married and having babies. I survived and they will too. My outcome wasn't so great with the divorce and all. I just hope these couples can survive and have a better start than I did.

I think I'm done rambling.....for now. Happy Monday. April Fool's Day. Whatever.
Pin It!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Riddle Me This Batman

If you can seriously argue any one of these ten points, BRING IT! (This much better explains what I was trying to say in my Equality post yesterday.)
Pin It!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Equality. That's the Word of the Day today.

Pretty sure I've talked about this before, if not blogged about it, but I will talk about it again and give it it's own blog. I believe in marriage equality. I actually believe in equality for everyone about anything that is legal. I don't believe we should segregate anyone out because of raise, color, sexual orientation,ability or whatever. Give everyone a chance to prove themselves.

Then I wake up this morning to a Facebook post by a school friend who shall remain nameless. It was a shared link to this story. I will say, I wasn't surprised on his view of marriage but I was very disgusted at the blog about marriage and how it's biblical only between a man and woman because of Adam and Eve and all that BS. Yeah. Gross. (By the way - he got no "attention" from that share. No likes or comments. So there.)

Later on this morning, certain friends were changing their Facebook profile picture to the image above or a big red block. I knew the "why" going on in my head would be answered soon enough. Then I see this article posted by NPR about Justices wary of broad ruling endorsing gay marriage and another one about Outside the Supreme Court, The Arguments Continue and it comes to my attention that today starts a two day discussion in the Supreme Court about two same sex marriage cases. It once again reminds me how messed up our government is and how simple minded much of the world (sadly my home state of Texas more than anyone) is about letting people do one simple thing - get married.

Yes, I believe in marriage and not just between a boy and a girl. I believe in marriage between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. To put up the argument that allowing a gay couple to marry would devalue the marriage between and man and a woman is just idiotic to me. Let me explain why.....I was married once. I sucked at it. I got married too young and I didn't have good examples in my life on how to make a marriage work. Yes, it's Work with a capital W. It's about compromise, loving someone unconditionally, putting them before yourself much of the time and yes, expecting the same in return. I see WAY too many young kids getting married and having babies and yet have absolutely NO freakin' idea how to get along and compromise. I was one of those kids. I was a baby of 21 marrying a bigger baby of 23. At least I had lived on my own and knew how to take care of myself. That was about it. Want to read about the mess? Here. Enjoy. It's a mess.

I will get married again one day. I feel more ready to be married now than I ever have. I have and will encourage my own children to live with someone BEFORE they take the vow of marriage because marriage isn't something they should think is disposable. It's not something you can have "undone" even though so many famous people (and not famous people) seem to think you can. It's forever whether you stay together or not. You have made a union, and most of the time a family, with this person. You can't just act like it never happened. It did. There are probably pictures to prove it.

I have my opinions about pretty much everything and I don't like to share them on Facebook because, well, there are people I'm friends with that will judge and criticize and whatever and that's not why I have a Facebook. I'm there to have fun. My blog here is where I go to rant about political and religious stuff. (linking to everything like CRAZY today!) Therefore, I won't be changing my profile picture. But let's be honest, it's really because I think me and my love are just too freakin cute together to put a big read block with an equal sign in it. My friends who really know me know I'm all about equality. Those that don't know me that well can suck it. Or they can read this post.

So, here's what I think, I, along with a gazillion other straight people, have certainly done a grand enough job of screwing up the value of marriage all on our own. It wouldn't make it worse if we allow gay couples to freely marry. In fact, if anything, I think it would make it more valuable because these couples tend to appreciate marriage way more than straight couples. They tend to stay committed to one another way longer without being married than some married people do. They had to fight for their right to love openly - not just to be married but to be accepted as gay. That fight in and of itself is hard. Coming out. It's a shame what a struggle it still is. But thankfully we have sites like the It Gets Better organization to help struggling people of all ages to be open and honest about who they love. Let's stop being so closed minded people. Seriously.
Pin It!

Stay. Positive. Stay. Positive. Stay. Positive.


Maybe if I keep repeating this to myself if will eventually sink can only hope. If you saw me at work or just out in public you more than likely would think I'm a positive person much of the time. I try to be. It's those times when I'm alone in the car, alone at home or talking to my counselor that all the crap just floods to the top and I get super negative about all sorts of weird and crazy stuff. I don't like to be outwardly negative because I do care what people think about me and I never intentionally want to hurt anyone's feelings (unless you are a certain sibling of my brother). I think we all feel this way and screw those people who are all "fake it til you make it" BSers. Seriously, that's not healthy either. Just let me be who I am. I'm working on being better but I have a lot of crap that I haven't dealt with - doing that now thank you very much. Finally found a counselor that I feel like I can relate to. She doesn't cast judgement. She just listens to me ramble and when I have a moment of enlightenment she affirms it.

Counseling was yesterday and you would have never known it (or maybe that was the problem) because at the end of the day, man I was a freakin' mess! Angry about all kinds of I don't even know what and didn't know where this was all coming from! These are the moments I am SOOOO thankful I only have one more child at home and that I'm still living alone - not with my significant other. If there were too many people around, I wouldn't be able to avoid and ignore until the volcano going off inside me simmers back down. Man, I would have completely ruined the good things I have going last night if a certain someone was in my house. I don't even want to think about that but really, truly hope that this whatever it is boiling up will soon simmer to a slow roll and cool off permanently.

Here are the facts: I didn't have great parents. They did what they could to provide, but emotionally they both really sucked at it all and honestly still do. I can't depend on either of them because there is still that little girl inside me that feels judged. I learned at a very early age not to try to open up about what I was really feeling. The results always ended in some sort of judgement. Same in my marriage. I kept a lot of stuff in. Now it just all comes out before I can stop it sometimes. It's dangerous. However, I am WAY beyond thankful that this man I'm head over heels in love with is amazingly patient and kind and loving and nonjudgmental and helping me to be a better person and he doesn't even know it. He's leading by example. I just want to get over all the junk going on inside me before he and I have a life together - like where I can't just not answer his call because I'm scared what might come out of my mouth or where we can just talk in text so I can review what I say before I send it.

Staying positive isn't always a daily struggle. Going to counseling has brought up some things I wasn't expecting but I know it's for the better and I have to work through it to be better. It's the in between time that can suck the life of ya. I have so, so much to be thankful for. There are people all around me going through so much worse, I realize that. But this is me and my life. I'm not saying things are horrible. I'm saying I'm having a hard time. That's it. Nothing more than just that - I'm struggling. Writing this blog (and going to counseling) is helping to get it all out and get on with life.

Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive. Done.
Pin It!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Things I Struggle With

The emotional struggles I've been facing lately have, at times, debilitated me to the point that I thought I wasn't going to ever feel peace again. The thing is, I honestly can't even say why. I can't put a finger on what exactly is causing me to feel sad. I hesitate to use the word depressed because it just sounds so ominous and this isn't ominous, it's just.....sad. Maybe even lonely. Yeah, lonely makes more sense.

For the majority of my life I've had people around me - family growing up, always a boyfriend, in a relationship at 17 that became a marriage of over 14 years and then raising four kids all with very little alone time. Three of my kids are now adults, working full time, going to college, hardly ever around - all of this I am SO very proud of. That is the result you should want as a parent. You WANT your babies to grow up to be productive adults and have a life outside of you. The thing is, you don't ever really realize that there will come a day when you have more and more quiet nights alone with your dog sitting next to you on the couch than you have with so many activities going on that you crave a day of nothing.

I will admit that, once my first child was born, I was all about them. My entire day was consumed with taking care of them, making sure they had everything they needed, and neglecting my marriage in the process. Truth be told, after a while, they were more fun to be around than he was. After my divorce, I would only go out with friends or on a date when the kids were off on visitation with their dad. Otherwise, I was home with them. They were my number one priority. I don't know if that was a detriment to me not finding someone special because I absolutely now have the man that I feel certain I was meant to be with. I believe the last nine plus years of my life have happened the way they were supposed to. No regrets.

Now I find myself in a long distance relationship that will continue this way for at least another 14 months, two kids off at college, one son who lives in my house but is now a roommate and one son who is 14 and still going to visitation with his dad twice a month. I have a mother that I need to visit at least once a week and a father who is well but not in the best of health. Things are busy in my life but they seem to be things that require more emotional investment than I really have right now. I've been going to counseling to deal with some issues that I can't really talk about on here. I see my future as having to learn a whole new way to live. I don't see me living here in the same town I've always lived in, the same area I grew up in, the place where my kids can come home at any time and know I'll be around. They have separated themselves from me but I'm still working on separating myself from them.

 So I struggle with letting go of my kids, knowing that one day I will probably not be living here and not sure how often they would come see me in my new home and having ailing parents who might need me around just about the time I'm ready to start my new life. To think about doing what is best for me is not easy for me at all. It feels selfish but I know people do it all the time. People retire after their kids are gone, sell the family home - the house the kids grew up in - and move off to the country or another state or whatever. That's what I'm going to do. I'm fortunate to have enough time to process all of this, right? For now, I will wake up and be grateful. And repeat this over and over and over.
Pin It!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Adult Children and Being Responsible


This morning at 1:45 a.m. I was picking up my oldest son who is 22, his girlfriend and her friend, 21, from a St. Patrick's Day bash just a few miles from my home. Yes, I had to work today and yes, I was more than happy to be awake and driving four hours and 15 minutes before my alarm would be going off to tell me to get my butt out of bed and get to work.Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you.....

My oldest son is more or less my roommate now. He just turned 22, works two jobs and pays a little rent along with a couple of bills and whatever else he wants to do with his money. He's had a few rough patches but I love him, I'm his mom, I will always be his mom, and I will always be here for him - without question. The only thing is we don't really see each other much and there really hasn't been too much conversation with us in a while. When it happens (and it's been this way with him since he was a teenager) I will literally stop everything and listen to what he has to say to me.

That's why, on Saturday as I'm watching something (don't even remember what because it was probably on my DVR to watch and some things I can't just friggin' erase but I will sit there and play it and not really pay attention...) and he walks in the room with a Qtip in each ear because he just showered and needs to get the water out and asks me, "Mom are you doing anything tomorrow night?" to which I have to think, but not for too long, that no, I'm not and I will be home all night. "Do you work Monday?" he asks. "Yes but why? What do you need?" He goes into the explanation that he and his girlfriend and her/their best friend are making plans to go to the big St. Patty's Day celebration going on at a local bar/restaurant near our house. They have it all planned out how NOT to be drinking and driving and he asks if I would be ok with coming to pick them up when it's over at 2:00 a.m.

WITHOUT HESITATION - I pick up my phone right then to set an alarm for Monday morning at 1:45 a.m. I can't tell you how proud and excited I was that he would ask me. One, it shows me he still loves me and needs me and two, I know I won't be getting a "bail me out" phone call. Oh, and three, he's being MAJORLY responsible and I love that! I love to sleep but I know I will sleep MUCH better knowing these three adult kids will make it home safely and in one piece. This is something I never would have asked of my parents - EVER - and something I am more than happy to do for my kids - or anyone else for that matter.

My phone goes off at 1:35  a.m. with a text from him saying they are ready to be picked up. I am out the door in a matter of minutes, get to the pick up spot so I don't have to go through the massive parking lot of people and in they come. Now, I know his girlfriend but we've never actually had a conversation other than "Hi" and "Bye" as they come and go from the house. I meet the other friend who is very nice as I expected. They were a little tipsy, certainly too much to drive and VERY chatty at this weeeee hour of the morning. But I welcome all this because I do enjoy my kids and their friends. His girlfriend, who really has said no more than two words to me (which is fine. She's probably shy.) asks me a very interesting and fun to answer question, "So what is the most crazy night you've ever had?" Hmmmm, good question because there've been quite a few. But I gladly come up with my favorite story about NYE my junior year in high school. It's always good for a few laughs and shows that I'm a cool mom, not perfect and am not a prude. I've had my wild streak and am an over sharer. Transparent is what some over called me and I'm ok with that.

Some people wouldn't have agreed with my decision to get up and pick them up, especially since I had to work today. I don't understand that at all. I would much rather plan ahead to be the PASS (person appointed to stay sober) than to get a phone call about an accident or arrest. My opinion on parenting once your kids are in high school and into college and beyond it this: you can still be their parent and occasionally their friend as long as there is a mutual respect for each other. I want my kids to ALWAYS know that I am here for them. Even when they make stupid mistakes. I won't say "I told you so" or shove it back in their face when they need my help (except for this last week when my middle son groaned when I asked him to take out the trash and I had to remind him that I gave him $100 because his car got towed and it was hurting his bank account to have to get it out of the pound. I was justified!!)

Parents of young children don't ever want to think their child is going to grow up and do the same things we've done i.e. drinking, getting drunk, have sex, smoking - but they do and you should love them in spite of the fact that you don't want them to do these things. They will love you and appreciate you more later if you love and appreciate them now. Believe me, I never, in my wildest dreams, thought about this part of parenting. It's for a lifetime, truly. And for as long as I live and can be here for them, I will be.

These kids had a great time and when the party was over, it was over and they got home safe and in one piece (and possibly with a hang over to remember the night). But the best part - when we got home, he thanked me again and said, "I love you a lot mom." Drunk, maybe, but I WILL TAKE THAT!!!

Looks like they had a great time to me! He's the one being accosted by the green headed guy. And yes, I stole this from his friend's Facebook.
Pin It!

Friday, March 15, 2013

I Want To Be Her When I Grow Up!

I watched this over and over when I'm feeling a little down or really, really down. This lady is the epitome of happiness. My goal is to be so happy and free from worry that I will just break into dance at any given moment - no matter who is watching! What freedom!!

Pin It!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Thoughts on Counseling

Shortly after I started dating this wonderful man, I realized that I had some big crap issues to take care of and that I would need to go to counseling. I've been to so much counseling in my life that I usually know what the answer is, I really just need a professional to tell me I am on the right path with my train of thoughts. There are just things that you have to work through alone and then there are things that you really need to be in a relationship with someone who is willing to stand by you as you work through the rest. After my last break up, I went to a man thinking I needed a man's opinion. That guy was old and didn't remember anything we had talked about the week before so I decided to try a woman this time and hoped she wouldn't have memory issues.
I've stretched out  my six free sessions for six months. Here is what I've learned....
  • I'm still extremely insecure.
  • I've been through so many bad relationships that I don't truly trust anyone
  • This all (or mostly) stems from my childhood and my father
  • I'm going to need six more sessions (or more) to get a grip on my insecurity
I don't handle change well and I overthink pretty much every little thing. I used to overthink the life of my children and if I was being a good enough parent. Now that three of them are adults, I have stopped because I can truly see that I am a good parent and they are able to confirm that. I'm not the best parent and I'm certainly not perfect, but I did a pretty damn good job thank you very much!
I also tend to be an oversharer - which can be good and bad at the same time. My problem at the moment is that I don't really filter what comes out of my mouth much of the time. Lately, I've said things I wish I could take back because they make me look like an insecure bitch (which I won't deny that I am) but that's not who I want to be and certainly not who I want people to think I am. I also don't want to hide who I truly am. I don't like who I truly am some times and that's what I need to change.
My heart is hard towards those people who have hurt me deeply. I forgive and forgive and forgive until it hurts and then I will cut you off like you never existed. For some people it's just the way I have to be, i.e. my parents first child. If a toxic person is in your life and they continue to be toxic, it's ok to cut them out of your life. Chances of them changing are very slim so let them go. If they truly change and want back in, then you make the decision to let them in or not. You need to do what's best for YOU. Look out for yourself because no one else will or can do it better. I don't want to have a hard heart anymore and I'm working towards softening it to my own benefit and to the benefit of those around me that I love.
This is my self-talk. This is what I tell myself every morning. I'm hoping that eventually it will all sink into my heart. I worry that I will become a toxic person and someone I love will want to cut me out of their life. I do have a tendency to set myself up to be hurt. My counselor says it's because it's what I'm used to and I agree. I'm not used to being loved unconditionally and I don't know how to handle this love. I'm trying. I'm working on it. She said that I need to work through insecure feelings and keep my insecure thoughts to myself. Not every time, but when it's something I'm freaking out about that hasn't even happened yet and honestly probably won't, I need to recognize what is going on - is it justified or just full on freaking out over something that is out of my control? I can't always tell the difference.
I like a plan. I like to know what my future holds. I don't really like change. My life has been changing a lot lately and I'm getting overwhelmed. My department at work just underwent a big restructure and now I'm reporting to someone new and I still don't really know what my job is. I need to move at the end of the year and don't know where I'm going. This is a big one because my relationship plan was to incorporate another person in my home during the summer of 2014 and now I'm not sure that will happen or when it will happen and now isn't the time to talk about it. There is a possible job change in the future (not for me) that might throw a kink in "the plan". I'm deciding today that I will continue on with my life as though I am single and only need to think about my future and the future of my son who still lives at home. That's the only thing I have control over and the rest will fall in to place.
I've prayed about it on a constant basis every day, all day long. I am just going to trust that God has a great plan and I will be fine. It's been working so far so I need to trust that it will contine to work. Right? And then I read things like this below. I have overcome a lot. I will be fine. WE will be fine. 

Pin It!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Spring Cleaning and Pinterest


Hi. My name is Kathy and I have OCD. I have an obsession with keeping things and then throwing massive amounts of things away - really giving them to the Good Will, but getting them out of my house. I believe this is due to the amount of things my parents kept during my childhood. It always bothered me that they had so much stuff that they had to build shelves out in our two car garage and fill said shelves with boxes upon boxes of things. My mother once told me that she knew there were boxes in her garage from 1967 (the year I was born) and that she had no idea what was in them.

During my upbringing, my mom didn't intentionally keep anything of mine, i.e. baby clothes, toys, until I was able to realize that I should do that myself. I do still have a baby doll I got for Christmas one year that has velvet soft skin (a bit worn away now) and my Donna the Bear that I've written about before. I have several other things that I have been able to part with recently and will continue to get past the memory and be able to give away soon. I'm going to move at the end of the year, so this really isn't an option. I don't want to take all this stuff with me. I just don't know what to do with a lot of it. I refuse to have a storage locker or use an attic. If I can't keep it in the house in the closets, I don't need it. I would LOVE to live in an RV or something where you really have to minimize your crap.

When I divorced the ex, my daughter told me in no uncertain terms NOT to throw anything away that had to do with my marriage. I managed to keep all pictures, trinkets, etc. until November of last year. I decided it was time to give her all this stuff or throw it out. It had been nine years and it was just taking up space in my closet. When she came to get it, I told her, "I don't care what you do with any of this, just don't throw pictures away. And, I'd like you to keep my wedding shoes and wear them at your wedding." I bought them in Paris in 1985 with the intention of them being my wedding shoes. I borrowed my dress so that's all I have - that and my veil. (I did ask the boys and they didn't want anything.)

Now I'm looking at moving again and don't want to move things I know I don't need or want. A lot of what I have has been saved for my kids. I'm so glad that they are now at the age where I can say, "Do you want this or that?" and be happy that they have the option I didn't have. I also have things from my Maye Maye that I've slowly been able to part with and there is stuff under my bed that belongs to my brother. He's supposed to be here this Fall and is going to go through, take and trash it all. It's a must because I don't want to move that either. Nine years ago, I went from a 2,600 square foot house to a 1,600 square foot duplex to now a 1,000ish square foot apartment. I don't know if I'm going to move to a bigger or smaller place but I certainly don't want to fill it up wherever I end up.

So now it's Spring (almost) and I'm getting the bug to clean out everything. BUT - I'm obsessed with Pinterest. It is VERY addictive if you have OCD or really any obsession of anything. I don't think there isn't anything you can find on that site. Want to follow me (<
Anyway - here's to hoping the weather is perfect this weekend and I get done what I need to get done!
Pin It!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

I Never Thought I Would Ever Have This Experience

Update to this post: I started this about a year ago and never finished it. I've decided to finish it because there is MUCH more to the story.

Tat match 1.9.12
At 11:26 am on January 8, 2011, I received a text message from a "friend" of my daughter telling me that my daughter was in jail. If that doesn't set you back a few breaths, nothing will. I was sitting at California Nails finishing up my nail appointment. It's the one thing I do to pamper myself and that day - it was ruined. As I'm sitting there talking to Tiffany, I gasp when I read the text message. When she asked what it was, I whispered, "My daughter's in jail." Those four words are something no mother ever wants to say. Those four words are something no parent ever thinks they will say about their child.

As I'm leaving the salon, Tiffany gives me a hug. I've never hugged her before. She said, "Good luck with your daughter" and I walked out the door just about to cry. I didn't know what to say or what to do, but I knew who to call. I called my best friend, Kirsten. Two and a half years ago, she was going through the same thing. She didn't answer her phone so I text Steve. I just drove over there because I knew I had to tell him and I had to do it now. The information I had was very little. We stood outside his house calling Dallas county to see if we could find her in the system. According to Cory, the friend, it had been about three hours since she was arrested. The fact that I hadn't heard from anyone was very concerning to me.

After maybe 30 minutes, I decided to leave and go home and see what I could do from there. After trying to call Kirsten again, I decided to go to her house instead. All of the cars were in the driveway so I went to the door. Kaleb answered the door and I asked if his mom was home. He said no, that when he'd woken up she and Ken were gone. As I held back tears, I told him, "Alyssa's in jail. I need to talk to your mom. Would you please try to call her?" After calling her phone and Ken's phone, he called Ken's work phone and told her to call me. They were at lunch with her parents and sister's to celebrate her dad's birthday. I told her what had happened and that I didn't know where Alyssa was. She told me to come get them from the Hilton Southlake and she would call her nephew, Tim, a police officer with Southlake, to see if he could find anything out.

I went by my house to check on Jonathan. He had been home all day and I didn't want him knowing anything, if I could help it. I told him that Kirsten and I had a friend that was in some trouble and that she and I needed to go see what we could do for them. I left him home while I went to go find his sister. The feeling of helplessness was almost unbearable.  When I got to the hotel, Ken and Kirsten walked out, got in the car and said they were sorry. That's all you can say. But these two people with me where two people who knew exactly what I was going through. If anyone could say to me, I know exactly how you feel, these two people could - and to know they were my friends, my true friends, it was exactly what I needed at that moment.

For the 30 minutes or so we spent our time on the phone with Tim, who didn't find her in Dallas County, thank GOD, calling various police stations around Dallas until I got the call from the University Park police. It was about Alyssa. Officer Tran Sou had her in custody. She was fine but she didn't want to call me. The officer finally convinced her to call and let me know where she was. She just didn't want to be the one to tell me what happened. What I was told was that she, Monica and Cory were in the parking lot of the Chevron station at the corner of Preston and Northwest Highway getting high at 9:00 am that morning. Alyssa had the pipe in her hand and coped to everything. She was charged with a Class B Possession of a controled substance, which is a County charge, and a Class C Possession of drug paraphanailia, which is a City charge. She wouldn't be arrained by the judge until that evening and bond would be set, probably at $500. That was just for the Class B. The Class C was $264 to the city or there was a possibility that she could sit it out on time served since she was there since 10:00 am. I would just have to wait until after she saw the judge to find out any more details. The officer and I spoke for a while, getting more of the story and how she felt about the other two kids that were with her.

(3.5.13) Obviously, at this point in the story, I was having a hard time repeating the story, which is probably a good thing. I'm an over sharer. I'll shorten the story by saying, she got out, she worked two jobs, one of them under her father's company, had the charges dismissed, debt to her father and me paid off and graduated National Honor Society and International Baccalaureatte on May 26, 2011. She was accepted to college and in December of 2012 was accepted to the Interior Design Program. If you know anything about the process to get accepted, you would appreciate how much she had to go through and how strong she had to be to get through this first part of the process. Basically, she is an incredibly strong woman and will tell you that the one night she spent in jail made a major impact on her and her focus on her future. That doesn't mean she is perfect and innocent, but she has a major focus, has lost some really good friends because she doesn't "party" like she used to, and is more than ever determined to see her desire to be an interior designer since 7th grade come to fruition.

I get asked advise by mother's with younger teenage girls and I just really cringe because I think I did as good a job as I could with my kids, trying hard not to be a "friend" but also not being a total hardass. I don't have the answers, obviously. What I do know is that your kids will do what they want when they get past the age of about 10. I also know that this girl (in one of my most favorite pictures of the two of us) is lucky, blessed (and she REALLY knows that) and so self-sufficient and supportive and just absolutely rocks my world and makes me so proud. I don't recommend everyone get arrested just once, but I would say, have faith in your kids. Love them inspite of themselves and know that there is life beyond going through an arrest.
This is her studying in my home on my couch and I love it. I love it when she comes to visit. I try hard to never think about what happened two years ago now.  The picture at the top is a constant reminder on my arm of the bond we have together. Something that we went through that I hope never to have to go through again. On a side note, her older brother, my son, was arrested in October for DWI. His dad is dealing with that, but I love him as much, if not more than I did when he was born. He's working through his deal as well and I completely support him in that I am helping him to learn to be finanacially sound while living in my home that he pays rent, car insurance and cell phone. And guess what? I'm still alive and happy and well. And so are they.

The two kids I have that haven't been arrested yet (insert grigarious laugh here) are different in that I don't think they will take the risks that their older siblings took. Who knows though. I will still love them with every fiber of my being because GOD knows I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. So parents, HAVE FAITH, if you are loving your children UNCONDITIONALLY there is hope. That's my opinion but it seems to have worked for me.
Pin It!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


Things at my homestead have been pretty mild lately, not really much going on and trying to be more crafty these days. Although, the month of February has proven to be a bit challenging on the nerves - mine to be exact. I don't like to complain (really I don't) and I don't like drama. I much prefer for things to just move along nice and easy and smooth.

So, I'm dating this amazingly great guy (STILL!!) Yep, it's been 8 months (yes I count and I know the exact day of the month - 23) and I still shake my head at how truly smooth everything is going. Even the distance (roughly 160 miles but who's counting) isn't an obstacle. It's been me going to his house much more than in the beginning, but that's really my choice - oh and the choice of his job since he is in retail and doesn't have a set M-F 8-5 job with weekends off. But I like it there, a lot. It's nice and peaceful and quite and there aren't tons of kids coming in and out. It would ever only be just one - his son - who doesn't really make an appearance all that often, but when he does, it's always fun and pleasant and we have a great time together. And we have two dogs who love each other....

Meet Ada and Z. Get it? Ada Z! LOL

Then there are my dad and his wife and my mom. They are getting older - my dad will be 78 on April 9th and my mom will be 79 on April 26th. WOW! I can't believe that I just wrote that, but it's the truth. My mom was recently moved into a retirement living facility and seems to be getting along fine. I've gone to visit her a few times. Not as consistently as I had hoped in the beginning, but to be honest, it's not easy. It's really difficult to be around someone who was so smart all your life then suddenly doesn't even remember how to put her bra on. She has dementia. It sucks and I truly hope I can avoid the disease myself. My grandmother (my mom's mom) had what we believe was dementia/Alzheimer's but was also physically having a hard time because the Polio she had as a child had started to come back. She didn't suffer for the 11+ years I've heard so many people dealing with lately. My mother is physically very healthy which seems to make this much more difficult for me to deal with. I fear her living this way for another 10 years. My dad and his wife are - hyper-religious and judgemental and mean well - they always mean well. They love me, I know they do, but I have resentment and that has reared it's ugly head here lately.

In fact, I went to counseling for this very subject yesterday. I started counseling back in August when I started dating Mr. Wonderful and realized very quickly that I would be the cause of a downfall and that scared the bejesus out of me. I didn't want to lose him and I knew I had trust and insecurity issues that could only be dealt with IN a relationship. I had done all I could do on my own. I needed a strong man who loved me unconditionally that was willing to stay strong through me working past all the crap. He has way beyond proven that he is that man and that I am one lucky girl!

Back to my dad, I can't talk to them about it. It won't do any good. Things aren't going to change. They are set in their ways and this is just how it's going to be. I, on the other hand, am a bit stubborn - much more stubborn than I had been the majority of my life having to learn to live with a father who was "always right" and a husband who was "never wrong" and both who didn't give a rats behind what my opinion was. I was to listen to them and do what they said and don't question it - ever. So now I question things - a lot. I am learning to bite my tongue, sometimes literally, so that I don't say something extremely hurtful. I love these people in my life that make me want to pull my hair out on occassion. I really do. I'm learning that actions speak louder than words. I've stopped calling my dad to ask for advice or his opinion because I have not agreed or liked it enough in the past that me not doing what he says has caused a little friction that we are both working through.

Basically, my counseling session yesterday consisted of me venting and being told exactly what I thought - he isn't going to change and it's better not to say anything hurtful that I will regret later. Be who I am. Have a relationship with them on my terms (my mom included) and do my dead level best to just move on and enjoy my parents for as long as I have them. People in my family don't live very long into their 80's so the time will come sooner than later that they won't be around and I will miss them.

I found the quote above on Facebook this morning. It's exactly what I needed to hear and believe about myself. 
I am full of sparkle & compassion.
I genuinely want to make the world a better place.
I love hard.
I practice kindness.
I'm not afraid of the truth.
I am loyal, adventurous, supportive and surprising.
I am a woman.
I am enough.
I make mistakes but I own them and learn from them.
Sometimes I make a lot of mistakes.
Molly Mahar
Pin It!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Vacation Part Two - Idaho

I can't believe it took me seven weeks to continue this but here goes.....

Monday morning, October 29, we get up super early, eat breakfast and head out on the road to get to Idaho. It's going to be a long day, not just getting to Idaho but actually getting the the lodge - aka our final destination. It was still dark when we crossed the Wyoming/Idaho boarder but if you think that's going to stop us from getting out to get a picture when it's pitch black outside, you're wrong, my friend! We stopped at the very small "Idaho" and took a picture until we got a decent one (above)

We were supposed to meet someone from the ranch at their office in town but couldn't get in touch with anyone so Allan decided to just go for it and drive to the ranch. Richard was taking the truck so he got to enjoy the ride along with us. Once we turned off the main, paved road, the drive was very slow and bumpy up the mountain. It had snowed so the ground was wet, frozen, bumpy and rough but the view was spectacular so it made the drive much more enjoyable. As we got closer to the lodge, I got more and more excited. This was the real big part of the trip and I was SO ready for it.

Knowing I would be completely, and I mean COM-PLETELY, out of touch with the world once we headed into the mountains until we came off the mountain on Friday, I text all my children and told them I loved them and to remember if they needed anything to call their dad because I was out of reach. For most people now, that would make them a complete nervous wreck. I, on the other hand, was extremely excited to see how I would handle not having cell or Internet access for five days. Let me just tell you, it's VERY freeing. If you've never done it you should try it. There were many times I wished I could Facebook or Instagram the beauty of what we were experiencing, but I knew that I would have the opportunity to do it in one big bunch once Friday afternoon got here. I didn't want to rush this experience. I wanted the week to last forever.

As we came around the final corner and saw the lodge, I gasp - literally. I mean, I had seen pictures online but that was nothing compared to the lodge in person. The sky was a perfect shade of blue with just enough clouds scattered around and snow on the was simiply beautiful. Richard was just a bit jealous, lol. We get to the lodge and back it up to unload all the stuff. We are greeted by the cook and a guide or two. As we walk in the door, there are other hunters, men, standing around or sitting at the table. The cook, Kevin, introduces us and I swear I see eyes a rollin' and thoughts going "GREAT! A woman! I came here to get away from them and now here's one on MY vacation!" And I just smiled, waved and thought to myself, "Give me an hour and you'll love me." 

After we got settled in, we just went out to the upstairs balcony and rested, cuddled and just enjoyed our surroundings. As you can see by the pictures, it was truly beautiful and amazing.

This picture is our room/bathroom....we were on the first floor right by the front door. Not the ideal place for privacy but as it turned out, the guys weren't there all that much so it was good.There weren't a lot of "extras", the shower was VERY small and there was no carpet but this is a hunting lodge, not the Waldorf. I was with the man I love, and I know that's all mushy gushy and whatever but it's the truth. I realized that it doesn't matter where you are if you are with someone you truly LIKE to be with. We had the rest of the day Monday to spend together. Hunting started early Tuesday morning and we didn't know how many days that would go on until he got his Elk.
The layout of the lodge was two bedrooms, small office, kitchen and eating area on the first floor. The majority of the bedrooms were in the basement. That's where the guides and a couple of hunters slept. There was also a TV that only played DVDs. Upstairs was a pool table and more bedrooms. Did I mention there really wasn't "electricity"? There was a generator that generated electricity. I found this out the hard way. Tuesday as I was getting ready, I realized my hairdryer wasn't exactly working correctly but I managed to get my hair dried and straightened. Wednesday, I managed to blow the generator with my hair dryer so Thursday and Friday were "air dry" days. Thank GOD I could still use my straightener.
Tuesday's hunting was beneficial to all the hunters....except Allan. He was the final hunter that still needed to get his Elk. Wednesday morning, as he walked out the door, I said a little prayer asking God to give him his Elk that morning so that we could have the rest of the day and Thursday to just be together and enjoy "us". About 10:00 am, as I was sitting outside on the balcony reading, I decided to go in and get out of the cold. Keith, the cook, asked me if I heard a shot. I hadn't but was very excited. One of the other hunters came in and said he had heard the shot. This was great news! I ran and got my boots on in anticipation that Allan had shot his Elk. As I waited down by the fire pit at "mutilation station" as I liked to call it, one of the guides came rolling by, looked at me and said, "He got his Elk and he wants you to come up here now". I can't say that I am an excitable person, but I jumped up so quick and ran to get the camera, got in the four wheeler and we headed up the mountain. Everyone went. As I got off the four wheeler, Allan came out of the trees, we embarrassed and kissed (yes I'm romanticizing it but this is how it happened) and smiled and I told him how proud and happy I was for him.

He took me into the trees and showed me "Hal, the Halloween Elk". I was truly so proud of him. This huge, 800-900 pound animal was down in a shot from about 360 yards away. That's not easy to do. As they gutted and split the animal so that they can get it back down the mountain, I was all up in there taking pictures. Of everything. And here we are. I love this picture.

 The rest of the day was spent talking about the hunt and just being together. Thursday, we got up and went to "mutilation station" to take the meat off the carcass and get it all packed up to take back home. That was definitely a bonding experience. I can't say I ever thought I would do that, but I did and I loved it. And it's been three months and I would do it again. In fact, I have.

We've talked about going there again and maybe just for vacation, no hunting. I don't care what we do there as long as we can go there again.
Pin It!