Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Divorce Recovery

It has been over seven years since my divorce. In that seven years, I have had the privilege of guiding and counseling (to a small degree) friends and acquaintances through difficult marriages, divorces and dating. There were many times during my marriage and through the divorce that I often asked the questions, “Why am I going through this?” and “What did I do that was so bad that I don’t deserve to be happy?” It wasn’t long before I realized that there was certainly a purpose for all the pain I was experiencing. God was using me, in a very small way, to help others who were experiencing the same thing.

This meant that He was going to see me through. He had not left me alone to figure everything out. He was right there by my side to give comfort to my heart that was constantly breaking. I would never claim to have all the answers or that I had not done anything wrong. I certainly had done a lot wrong, but my God is forgiving and loving. That is one thing I know for sure. Anything I said to these people was definitely coming out of experiences and knowledge of where I had been and where I was at the time I was approached. God was giving me the words to say to my friend – words of comfort and hope that, while the situation looks horrible right now, it will get better.

I realize that there are people out there, many of whom I am friends with on Facebook, who probably still judge me to a point because they know more details around my divorce that they should. Live and learn on that, I guess. But I will not apologize to anyone for my actions. I have been forgiven by the only person that matters to me. My God. It has certainly changed my view of religion and the church. It has changed my view of relationships and marriage. It has softened my heart to those people who are hurting and hardened my heart to those people who want to judge and make their own calls on situations that are none of their business. Basically, I will not be pushed around anymore but yet, I have compassion for the lost and hurting in a way that not everyone can understand.

There is an opportunity for me to help start a Divorce Recovery group at my church. This is so exciting to me and yet I am very nervous. I have been judged and hurt by my “church friends” in the past. Those were different churches and different friends than I have now. I have to trust that God will bring this to fruition as it has been a passion of mine for a very long time. I want to give others hope that life after divorce can be wonderful. God hates divorce. He doesn’t hate the people in the divorce. He is a just and forgiving God and He IS love for everyone.

This is the book we are looking at using for the class.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is a good thing. In teaching, we learn. Thru Christ, we can do all thing. Love you. Lene