Sunday, September 12, 2010

What's in a dream?

When I was young, like elementary school age, I would have terrifying nightmares. The first real memories I have of these bad dreams was right after my granddaddy died. He passed away very suddenly the day before my 11th birthday, July 26, 1978. I was very close to him but didn't cry when he died. I was young but knew I should be crying. I watched my mom and my Maye Maye (grandmother) cry but I just didn't. I couldn't.

I had to postpone my birthday party because of the funeral. When I was finally able to have my friends over, they wanted to do a seance to call the spirit of my granddaddy. I didn't believe in any of that. It was something we were taught was evil and of the devil. But that night, it was raining. In our den was this humongous Mexican chandelier. As we were doing whatever we were doing, it started moving....and from what I remember, we heard a knock on the front door. Of course, we all screamed and then ended up going to sleep.

Over the next few months, I would have dreams about my granddaddy. I would always be with my family and usually my Maye Maye was also in the dream. I would always be the only person who could see him. He would come to me and attack me in my dreams. The odd thing was that he was the most gentle man in the world. He never raised his voice to me or laid a hand on me except in comfort and love. There were a series of about four dreams and they would repeat themselves over and over for months. Finally, one day I told my mom about the dreams. She asked me if he had ever hurt me, trying to figure out why I was having these dreams. Once I talked about them they never happened again.

Over the next 10-12 years, I would have horrible nightmares that would wake me up frozen to my bed. I wouldn't be able to move or sometimes even breath. All I knew to do was start singing "Jesus Loves Me" to make the bad feelings go away. The dreams were always demonic in nature. In some of them I would be crying out to God to save me. I would wake up crying or screaming in my sleep. Once I got married they pretty much stopped. Once I had children I didn't have any more, but I have been fascinated with the paranormal ever since I was brave enough to watch those shows on TV.

The other night I had a very bazaar experience that made me think about all of this again. It makes me wonder what's really out there that we can't see. But that's for another blog.
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