Sunday, June 20, 2010

So Here We Go



Life is an ever changing world of emotions and experiences. Throw kids into the mix and it changes even more. If I had ever thought about what I was doing 20 years ago by getting pregnant...ok I would have done it anyway but I wouldn't have wanted to know everything that the next 20 years would hold for me. Today was just another realization of the fact that my children are getting older and moving on with their life and I have no choice but to sit here and watch.

For the last week, it was just me and Jonathan at home. The other kids were on a mission trip to San Antonio where they worked on a few churches and helped with a food pantry and various other acts of service. It was very weird at first. It has been a while since I had a quiet house for longer than, oh, say, three or four hours. This was a full six days of just me and an 11 year old who wasn't going to ask to borrow the car or stay out until 3:00 in the morning. I knew when I went to bed that he was staying inside and would go to bed soon after me. But honestly, it didn't take long for me to find something else to do to keep my mind busy. Imagine that.

They all came home on Saturday. I was so excited to hear the stories and see the pictures of what they had been up to while they were away. They were different - in a good way. There wasn't any fighting or arguing, even with me when they wanted to go out to see the friends they had just left or when I called because it was 11:30 and I wanted to know they were home before I finally fell asleep. This will last a while, I expect. But we are all human and there will be arguing again. For now, things are good. They had great stories to tell and seeing them getting along, well that was priceless.

Today at church it was Mission Sunday. The service focused around the mission group and testimonies were given. Then came the end of the service. Michael was called up front because this was his last official Sunday leading Sunday morning worship. The church was asked to pray for him as he moves on to the next step of his life, playing guitar in the band Mouth of the South. I was trying to be good and not cry but I have been on the verge of tears a lot lately - full of pride for my kids and who they have become. As people started gathering at the front to pray over Michael, I headed up to get a good picture (because that's what moms do - take pictures of everything) and my friend, Tonia, touched my arm and hugged me and the waterworks broke loose. I cried like I have not cried in a long time. After I got home, I thought about how touched I was to have my friend - a friend from high school that I have reconnected with - love me and sympathize with me because she knows exactly what I'm going through. I haven't been held like that to cry in so long I had forgotten what it felt like.

We all need a good hug and a good cry every now and then. Did you know crying is good for you? It's true! Google it!
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