Friday, February 26, 2010

Motherhood is an Ever Changing Life

I hope our youth director doesn't mind me posting a picture of her daughter on my blog, but this is one of the sweetest pictures I could come up with at the moment. This is my now 19 year old son holding Xaris. This is the "love" of his life and shows how great a dad he will be - at least when they are little and if he doesn't have to get up with them in the middle of the night...ok he's a good cuddle buddy for now.

So Michael turned 19 on February 19, 2010. This is his “Golden Birthday”. I remember his very first birthday. I had it planned for WEEKS and maybe even months. I have always been pretty big on birthdays because it’s the one day of the year that is (hopefully) truly only yours. I know that each one of my kids does not share a birthday with anyone in our immediate family. There are some that are very close, especially in April, but we all have our own special day.

This year was just different for Michael. He turned 19. He has a life of his own. I wasn’t sure if he was going to hang out with friends or if I was going to get to plan a party for him. It was a little traumatic for me. When I found out that his dad had been planning a party for him and he wasn’t sure how to tell me, I will admit that my feelings were more than hurt. I am his mom. I went through all the almost 9 months and delivery and late nights and all that. Wasn’t it mine to take? Wasn’t it supposed to be me who was planning his birthday party and having his friends at my house and all that?

Apparently not. And I am now ok with that. I have to realize that my children are growing up and moving on. There will be a day when they don’t live with me on their birthday and they will probably be living somewhere else, even out of town or state…or country. How do you go from having a birthday party for your baby to just calling and/or sending a card with a present? I don’t know. I want to know, but I am going to have to go down that journey on my own and in time, I will learn how it works.

A proud moment for me was Sunday when our pastor acknowledged how proud he was of Michael and how he has stepped up to the job of leading the church in worship every Sunday morning. I got a pat on the back from my friend sitting behind me and I got compliments from other parents after church. That is something I get a lot actually…about all of my kids. It’s a proud moment and a sad one at the same time…when you realize that your children are doing what they were raised to do…grow up to be good people, move on and out and have a life of their own.
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1 comment:

Andy Baker said...

That's so funny: Golden birthday. I remember when I was twelve and the day matched how old I was. I was hoping something special would happen. This is an interesting new phase in your life. The little birdies start leaving the next. By the time it's Jonathan's turn, you'll just be sitting on the couch with the remote saying, "Shut the door on your way out."