Saturday, August 1, 2009

A Month With No Kids


July has come to an end and the time is about here for my kids to come back and live here full time. I think I actually liked it this year. It seemed a lot less lonely and a lot more interactive with the kids. I had the chance to go out with each of them alone or just two of them together. But at the same time, I was able to go out and be with my friends without having the mommy-guilt of knowing that the kids were home and I was out having fun. I wonder if that will ever go away. I doubt it.

I wish the visitation was different for the kids. There aren't too many years left before this all ends. There will come a day very soon where Alyssa quits going to her dad's and Ben doesn't come here as often. Jonathan can make that big decision in a couple of years, and I am pretty sure when he realizes he as the choice as a 12 year old, his answer will be that he doesn't want to go. He was so unhappy this month and I don't see it getting any better for him. At least,for me, I see them at church and they are here living with me.

The night was so sweet and peaceful and emotionally fulfilling for me and the kids (I think). It was just Alyssa and Jonathan at first. We watched "The Incredible Hulk". Alyssa brought her friend, Melina, with her because they had been together that day. The three of us sat in my room and talked like adults - almost. What a great thing to be able to talk to teenaged girls about life and have them actually listen (or at least pretend that they are)! Ben came home about 10:30. He had been at the lake with friends, hanging out and stuff. It just feels so right to have all my babies at home with me. I hope this feeling never ends!
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