Thursday, July 23, 2009

Watching My Kids Grow Up

Ben and I had our "date" night last week. We went back to the same sushi bar that we went to on Mother's Day. We had such a great time together, just talking and sharing thoughts and stuff. It's amazing how you see the progression of your children going from little kids, to teenagers and then that gradual transition to an adult. Since Ben doesn't live with me anymore, our relationship has changed just a little bit. I feel like I don't really know him as well as I do my other kids. Maybe not him specifically but more like what goes on in his every day life. I see him at church all the time and he does spend every other weekend with me, but his every day comings and goings aren't done with me anymore.

It's something that I am ok with, though, because I know that he made the choice to live with him dad and it had nothing to do with me as a parent. He is as happy as he can be, I guess, and it's his choice. He knows I still love him and that he can come home at any time. Watching your kids realize certain things about life and their parents and how the world works is really an awesome process. This is when you realize you either did a good job or you screwed up. I think I have done a pretty good job. My kids are happy, well-adjusted people who are secure and independent and that's really all I can ask for.

It's been almost two weeks since I blogged so I'm not sure if I wrote about this already, but Michael got back from church camp at the end of June and said he now feels called to be a youth minister. This really was just a confirmation for me of what I felt last year when he got home from the same church camp. I am very excited and happy and have mixed feelings about the whole thing. My experience with church plays a part in how I feel because I so desperately want my son to be the youth pastor I never had. I want for him to be open-minded in his leadership role. We have had a few guest speakers at youth since the last youth pastor left. They are awesome, open and true about what they teach. I can truly see Michael that same way.

Life is good.
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